Personal Feelings and Experiences

Me As The Condemned Inmate – Expected Thoughts, Feelings, and Emotions

I’m going to spend some time imagining – as I often have – what it would be like to face execution by various methods used, or proposed, in the United States and in some cases elsewhere.


I’m going to start with the following assumptions, just to set the stage:

Nitrogen Asphyxiation

While it isn’t a totally new idea, in April Oklahoma became the first state – likely the first place – to authorize judicial executions be carried out by nitrogen asphyxiation.  (Tulsa World, April 18, 2015, Time, April 17, 2015).

Executions of Drug Traffickers

I regularly check in on, including checking his monthly listing of verifiable executions.  It was doing this, not watching the news, that I discovered that, last July (2014), Singapore resumed executions with a pair of drug traffickers, and that last month (January 2015) Indonesia executed seven drug traffickers.

Execution Fantasies

I’ve touched on these before, but I’m going to go a bit more into my experiences and fantasies.  This could be considered explicit content, and discretion is advised.

The earliest fantasies I recall having regarding being executed were from when I was quite young.  In bed, I’d often lie face down with a wadded up blanket under my groin pretending that it was a “poison pad” used in executions.  This was very child-like with no real realism.  However, it may have had some pre-sexual aspects to it.  I grew out of this one way or another by the time I was 8 or so.

Things Another Me Might Have Done

Off and on, I think about things that I might have done relating to my interest in Capital Punishment if my life had gone differently.  This is a partial list of ones I’m currently seeing as possibilities:

More on Physical Sensations

Back when I wrote about “What it might feel like to be executed” I tried to imagine and describe the physical and emotional sensations.  But, I’m not sure I did as well with the physical as I’d have liked.

Reintroduction – Who I am and why this site is here

Until very recently, this has been a rarely updated site.  So, even with less than 20 total posts the oldest posts are nearly nine years old.  So, I’m going to post a new introduction.

Much of this material was previously covered in two early posts: October 26, 2005, and December 15, 2005.  But this is a fresh take on it, only briefly referencing the prior articles.

What it might feel like to be executed

Obviously, we don’t have any actual reports on what it feels like to be executed.  So, I’m going to use some imagination instead.  For these purposes, I’m going to assume the following:

More About Fiction

As I’ve mentioned before, I have written a lot of unpublished – and in most cases unpublishable – short stories about the death penalty and execution.  Many of these are first person, or nearly first person, depictions of executions by various methods.

Some Favorite Execution Videos

Over the years, I’ve seen a number of films and videos that have both encouraged and informed my interest in capital punishment.  In my initial entry (“How Time Magazine  Changed My Life”), I mentioned a few of these, most of which I’ve not been able to track down.