Personal Feelings and Experiences

Personal Choice

Over the years, I have thought many times about the process of being executed. One outcome of this is that were I given a completely open choice of how to be executed, assuming that I knew that there would be no alternative, I think I know what that choice would be.

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Am I a paraphiliac?

Over the last few days I’ve been doing some research on the Internet into why thoughts about the Death Penalty, and execution in particular, cause the sometimes troubling sexual reactions in me. Through this research I’ve discovered a decent description as to what a psychologist might consider this condition: unspecified paraphilia. However, it is also clear that paraphilia is only considered a treatable condition when it becomes a problem for the person or others, or becomes a criminal activity. Of course the information on the theological implications are much more vague. This research also has led me to conclude that psychologists aren’t sure how it is caused, nor how, or even if, it can be really cured. In my case, I’m not too worried about treatment since it isn’t causing too much problem for me. But I’m interested, or at least curious as to the cause in my case.

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How Time Magizine may have changed my life

The chair is bolted to the floor near the back of a 12-ft. by 18-ft. room. You sit on a seat of cracked rubber secured by rows of copper tacks. Your ankles are strapped into half-moon-shaped foot cuffs lined with canvas. A 2-in.-wide greasy leather belt with 28 buckle holes and worn grooves where it has been pulled very tight many times is secured around your waist just above the hips. A cool metal cone encircles your head. You are now only moments away from death. But you still have a few seconds left

I still remember reading those words in high school. They are from the cover story from the January 24, 1983 Time Magazine. In some ways that article changed my life, but not in a way some would have expected.

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