Execution Fantasies

I’ve touched on these before, but I’m going to go a bit more into my experiences and fantasies.  This could be considered explicit content, and discretion is advised.

The earliest fantasies I recall having regarding being executed were from when I was quite young.  In bed, I’d often lie face down with a wadded up blanket under my groin pretending that it was a “poison pad” used in executions.  This was very child-like with no real realism.  However, it may have had some pre-sexual aspects to it.  I grew out of this one way or another by the time I was 8 or so.

But as I matured, these kind of fantasies returned, with more realism, and formed a core of my, very private, sexual activity.

Now I understand that I am asexual – that is, I am not sexually attracted to either men or women.   However, that doesn’t mean I’m not sexually active.  As some, but not all, asexuals do, I mastrabate.

This started around the time of high school, as happens with most young men.  However, instead of thinking of girls, or boys, I’d walk myself through part of the process of being executed.  For a long time, this was almost always being strapped into an electric chair, hoping for climax as I was fantasizing the electricity being turned on.

Over the years, as I learned more about the methods and processes, these could start as early as the arrest, or occasionally the crime.  This cycle reinforced the sexual pleasure that the topic of capital punishment brings about.

When I was single, most of this activity occurred in bed.  After I got married, I moved this to other places, most often the shower.

One recent frustration, which may be cause by age, medication, or a combination, is that I don’t get to climax as often reducing the feelings of release and satisfaction.

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